talk about airing your dirty laundry in public...

Today started out like any normal day. I woke up, realized I had no plans, commitments, or any real reason to change out of my pjs at all. But still, after sitting in bed, reveling in the nothingness that is my life for a good half hour, I decided I should clean (are you sitting down, mom? it's true!). And, of course, the first order of business: Laundry.
I really outdid myself with laundry this time. See, I was trying out the new "two piles" approach (it's all the rage in Europe, I hear). Things that were really dirty and needed to be washed went right in the dirty laundry basket. Things that could be worn again (you know, like that t-shirt that only made a 20 minute appearance on Saturday when I had to run to the store), went on the chair. Unfortunately, this highly thought-out and perfectly organized system quickly turned into more of a "oh, which pile am I closer to, to throw stuff in?" (I mean, who saw that one coming?!). So not only did I have dirty laundry hiding in several different corners of my room, I had also managed to unknowingly accumulate my largest collection of dirty laundry to date. Good thing I had all day!

An hour after putting in my first load, I return to the laundry room (you know, that room with the TWO washing machines that our land lady forgot to mention every time I asked for for the first 6 weeks)  to make room for load number 2. As I'm pulling everything out, I notice it is considerably more wet than normal. At first I just figured it was because I had my sheets in, and the smaller pieces of clothes usually get wrapped up in the big sheets, perhaps preventing them from getting excess water out effectively... But no, when I pulled out the last few articles of clothing, clearly dripping wet, I noticed it. A pile of water, about two inches deep still in the machine.

PANIC.

OMG, did I just break their machine?! omgwhatdoidowhodoitellmakeitgoaway!! So I throw the sopping wet clothes into washing machine #2 just for holding. While I try to figure out what to do with the flood in machine #1. Spin Cycle. Yes, there has to be a way to just activate the spin cycle again and it will automatically drain the water. And by the same token, I can just re-spin cycle the clothes now in machine #2. Focus. Machine #1 first. I shut the door and look at my options.

Now, washing machines in general confuse me. I prefer the ones with options like "hot, cold, color, white, delicates, etc." Easy choices. And that's just with American machines. German washing machines, well, I just pick a setting and hope everything comes out the same size and color. It's not really the language thing, more the numbers thing. There're all these options for different numbers, but what are they? Temperatures? Are they in Celsius? Of course... but what does it all mean?!?! AHHH (see how this can turn into a very stressful activity?) Maybe I was better off just sticking with the bathtub laundry! (just kidding, I'd never go back to that)

So here I am trying to figure out which setting means spin cycle. hmm. "Schleudern." That looks like a good one. Never used that word before, but logically on the ring of options it seems like the only choice. Turn the knob to Schleudern and press start.  A little water drains. Success! But no. It stops. Ok, I press "stop" then "start" again. A little more water drains. I repeat this process till all the water has drained. Ok, deep breaths, I'll just open the door and.... what? the door... The door is locked shut. Ok, I'll just press "Ende" (bet you can't guess what that one means). Nothing. Turn the whole thing off? Nope. Break the door off? Just kidding! Ok, so I'll just have to let it run the whole spin cycle and open itself when it's done...

I set the other machine (you know, the one that actually has clothes in it) to do the spin cycle at the same time. But, knowing my luck, I figure I better stay for a couple minutes and see both machines get started, to make sure they don't spontaneously combust (I mean, for all I know I could have just turned it to "drain water then self-destruct").  Then machine #2 (with clothes) starts rocking back and forth, while machine #1, starts spinning so fast, I'm convinced it's trying to break through the time-space continuum. OMG. now I'm going to ruin both of their machines! So I stop the rocking machine and reposition the clothes (because, even in a state of panic, I know that rocking just means everything is off balance).

Then I just walk away. What's done is done. If these machines are going to rock themselves over, or jump through space-time, there's nothing I can do about it. Except come back in 15 minutes when the cycles are done.

Of course, my first two google searches when I get back upstairs? "Schleudern definition" and "Running an empty washing machine". Turns out Schleudern is, in fact, spin cycle (Emily: 1, German language: 0), and that running an empty washing machine is quite safe.

So needless to say, I managed to avoid a couple major catastrophes today, and I get to sleep worry free in clean bed sheets (mom...)