Regarding my future.

This time last year I was a big ball of stress because I realized I had no plans for the coming year. But as we all know now, it turned out ok and I got to sign on for a second year in Germany. So I decided in the beginning that this year I was going to be more pro-active about figuring my shit out. 

Remember when I posted this post (You probably don't, because I'm pretty sure no one followed das Blog back then)? Well, I actually took my own advice and have since done everything I set out to do way back in June 2011. I applied for grad schools in the fall and did some job research in Germany while I waited to hear back from them. 

And just as I was about start seriously applying for jobs in Germany (and getting really excited about it), the unexpected happened. I got an email (and eventually a letter) from my Alma Mater - the University of Georgia. I had received a place in the masters program and Teaching Assistantship for German. 

So, as of a few days ago, I sent in my official yes to UGA. Which means, in 3 short months, I'll be heading back to the homeland and settling in back in Athens, Georgia for the next two years. 

I am already sad to know I have to leave Germany. But no matter how much it sucks to leave, I can't pretend it won't be amazing to be home again.  So, go Dawgs! 

very subtle, right?

But now the question is, whether or not I continue to blog after I return as this blog was originally intended to just be about my time abroad. Thoughts? Comments?

one day, when I have money...

Ah, the beginning of a year as an ETA. For some people it means making new friends and discovering new places, for others, it is the time they get their first chance at teaching. But for everyone, it means an indefinite period of not being paid. 

After last year's fiasco of not getting paid till mid-November, I'm mentally and emotionally prepared to call my parents crying for help live off my last 60€ for the foreseeable future.

But as a means of coping, I've made a list of 3 things I want to treat myself to following the weeks of poorness. And it is definitely helping keeping my mind off my current state of poverty. 

1. New head phones

When my actual iPod headphones got attacked by my bike over the summer, I had to resort to my old friend Amazon to find a cheap replacement. Of course, when you pay 7€ for headphones that normally cost 40€ you can't be too surprised when the quality turns out to be pretty low. Unlike my last headphones, these don't stay in my ears at all, meaning I basically walk around with my fingers in my ears when I use them. And after about 1 week of owning them and pretty light usage, the wire cover broke. Luckily they're still functional with the help of a little tape.

2. New boots.

I love boots. And after many visits to the many shoe shops in Dortmund, I found a pair that I really want!  

3. A new winter jacket

according to the locals, the winter up here in Dortmund is pretty harsh, so I decided I needed to step up my winter wardrobe if I want to survive. I like to think of the winter jacket as a necessity more than a want, but it's on the list because I can't afford it (you know, if I want to eat) until the pay check comes. (I could not find the jacket I've been eyeing online so this is just a picture of one that is really similar) 

Oh, how I can't wait to be paid! 

Happy Anniversary!

I'd like to wish a happy first anniversary to das Blog! 

It honestly almost passed by without notice (hence this post coming a day late). 

It's a weird feeling, hitting the one year mark. On one hand, it feels like yesterday that I was standing out on the curb of Hartsfield Jackson with my mom trying to hold on to the last box of mac and cheese and still stay under the baggage weight limit. But on the other hand, it feels like that was a lifetime ago. 

Although the year was not without stress from time to time (and then some), I can't help but feel really proud of myself for being able to write this post right now. 

Ever since coming home from Zürich, all I've wanted to was to get back to Europe and stay. Fulbright was a great opportunity, a pay check, and definitely a resume booster. But first, and foremost, it was a foot in the door. And now I can say I did it, I managed what I set out to do, I'm staying in Germany.

Sure, for now it's only one more year, it's not exactly the be all, end all opportunity. But who knows what it will lead to, how long I'll stay in Germany, or even how long I'll want to stay.

The fact is, I'm here now, and I'm staying. One year later and I've found myself exactly where I hoped I would be and I couldn't be anymore excited! 

So here's to you, das Blog, and a second year that will hopefully be as good as the first!

The final countdown: 2 peas in a pod

 or, you know, 2 days in a countdown
 
Things I've learned during my Fulbright year:
#10 - a lot about the English language
#9 - there is such a thing as too much free time
#8 - riding your bike in the snow can be dangerous
#7 - missing your last train isn't always a bad thing
#6 - how to not be the student
#5 - German
#4 - I am a Georgia girl 
#3 - you're allowed to visit home on a year abroad
#2 - The future comes no matter how hard you try to avoid it

This one is a pretty good life lesson that I've really escaped facing for a long time... say about 23 years. Really, there were only three times in my past that I've actually  had to make serious decisions that would affect my future:
 
1998: picking an instrument for 6th grade band (hey, that was serious business for an 11 year old)
2005: picking a college/course of study
2009: trying to figure out what to do after graduation
 
Other than those three times it really has been smooth sailing (I'll just ride out this college thing as long as I can... add another major? ok! Oh wait, you mean I have to do something after I graduate. Ehh, I'll worry about that when I graduate) Well, if it wasn't made clear to me in the Fulbright application, which is a grueling year-long process that is started 15 months before you even board the plan to Germany, the future involves a little pre-planning. But if you know me at all I like to wait till the last possible second to do anything. And I'm damn good at, if I say so myself (you're talking to the girl who made a 100 on my final upper-level music history paper that I started at 8pm the night before it was due). 
 
After all the stress and waiting and applying and waiting and planning that went into the Fulbright application, when I arrived in Germany in September I was just ready to enjoy my Fulbright year. No more applications. No more stress. Just enjoying life abroad. 
 
That was until about mid March when I realized that my options were pretty much live in a box in Germany avoiding deportation or live in a box in Georgia avoiding the wrath of my mother for not having a job. And really both were equally as frightening. There I was in the final months of my stress-free Fulbright year and I realized I had not organized a single thing for after the grant ended. 
 
What ensued was a whirlwind of stress and self-loathing and about 500 different fall back plans that went as low as moving back home and getting some part-time job in Watkinsville that I wouldn't even need a car to get to and just save money for a year while I got my life back on track (hi, my name is Emily and I'm a recovering procrastinating Fulbright scholar....). 
 
Long story short, I got very lucky and ended up with another year as a teaching assistant which means I get to stay in Germany longer and I get another year of job security. A sort of get out of jail free card for the unplanned future. 
 
But I have learned one very important lesson in it all: no matter how much you just want to live in the moment and enjoy the present, the future is always creeping up and eventually you're going to have to face it, ready or not.
 
Which is why I'll be spending my year next year soaking up the excitement of another year in Germany, but also applying for grad school and looking into career options and generally just trying to not end up in a box (in Germany or in Georgia). 

from au pair to unemployed to ETA in 10 days or less

Sometimes it's funny how quickly life can turn around. For example, I'd like to give you a break down of the last 10 days in regards to what I'm going to be doing next year. 

Sunday, May 15: Get confirmation that the au pair job in Zürich would help me organize my visa to start working in August.

Monday, May 16: Book my round-trip flight to Georgia for 3 weeks in July.

Tuesday, May 17: revel in my seemingly flawless future plans

Wednesday, May 18: continue reveling

Thursday, May 19: Find out Gemma has gotten a job to tie her over for a while in Germany, we celebrate our mutual having of a future

Friday, May 20: Gemmani (that means Gemma and I) throw ourselves a little we rock at life/still can't afford to go out on a Friday night party and think about how awesome life is going to be next year when we're still [almost] in the same country

Saturday, May 21: Wake up to a shocking email from Zürich that they will not be able to procure an au pair visa for me. Something with my horrible American passport and government and blah blah. The next best option is a student visa. I spend the rest of the day sunk into a depression.

Sunday, May 22: Get to avoid my sudden lack of future because of all day band rehearsal. Will face reality later.

Monday, May 23: Start attacking my future. Email a university about a masters program, sign up for 3 au pair websites and one questionably legit "Help Americans find Work in Germany" website (just the free version, though). The day ended with a response from a family in Munich looking for an au pair. 

Tuesday, May 24: Respond to Munich au pair job, and get a call from them, a sort of mini interview, and an offer to come meet on Sunday in Munich for a real interview. Get another response from another family looking for an au pair. Get excited about the Munich job and pretend I've already got it.

My acceptance letter, because I'm that lame ;)

Wednesday, May 25: Spend half my day convincing myself that I'm crazy excited to be working in Munich next year (mind you, it's not even actually decided) and that I'll still be close to Gemma and Forchheim. And there will be babies! Then, out of nowhere, comes the letter that I've gotten a placement as a teaching assistant for a second year! No visa worries, no money worries (well, significantly less than the standard au pair rates), and it's in the German state that was my original first choice last year!  Yes, yes, and yes! Done, where do I sign? OMG, I'm moving to Nordrhein-Westfalen! 

so this week has been an exhausting emotional joy-ride of sorting out the future and trying my best to find legal ways to stay in Europe. And what have I learned from it all? Well, suffice it to say I'm going to start planning my post-2nd year ETA life probably in September instead of May (even if the world is going to end shortly after my next assistantship)! 

I also would like to take one brief (and mildly cheesy) moment to say that I recognize how truly lucky I am to have fallen into something (anything) like this. Ever since I lived in Zürich, all I've wanted to do was to come back to Europe and stay as long as possible. And somehow I'm making that happen. And I do not take that for granted! 

Also, you can now disregard this post

why I'm not above a year of professional childcare

As much as I love facebook, I kind of hate it. Why? Because all those really amazing and impressive things people are doing with their lives are all over my newsfeed. And they make me feel the need to explain my choice to work as an au pair next year. 

fyi, put this pic on my au pair profile and got an email
almost immediately after it loaded. Just sayin.

1. I get to stay in Germany
2. May not be the best money in the world, but you can't argue with a free place to live 
3. Get to have a complete cultural experience living with a German family
4. language language language! Speaking German for another year = win.
5. you don't need a stupid EU passport to get work as an au pair
6. I will have time to be focused on things like applying for grad school
7. I will probably be more motivated than ever to apply for grad school
8. I won't just sit around twiddling my thumbs all day
9. It is in no way binding if I am able to find something better along the way
10. Did I mention I get to stay in Germany?
11. I have a lot of experience in the field of childcare 
12. You can only do it for a maximum of 18 months, so there is no way to get sucked into a lifetime of professional childcare 
13. Even if the economy sucks and jobs are scarce, people still have children that need caring for
14. I get to avoid the "real world" for at least one more year
15. don't have to lay awake at night fearing deportation 

so maybe you're going to some incredible university, sorting through amazing job offers, or getting paid buckets of money. But I'm going to live in someone's spare bedroom and take care of their kid. And I'm ok with that.