Won't you be my Meerkat?

Germany seems to have this thing for meerkats. I didn't really notice it at first. Or maybe I did and just accepted it as one of Germany's many oddities cultural differences, then eventually stopped noticing it. Or maybe I subconsciously repressed it because it was so disturbing. In any case, the meerkat phenomenon went unnoticed until my sister visited in December. As we toured the Christmas Markets, she pointed out all the meerkat goodies available. But, as we all know, you can find some pretty strange things at the Christmas markets, so I guess I didn't register it too much.

Yesterday, though, while out shopping with a friend, we ran across the most amazing Meerkat selection I've ever seen and that just couldn't be overlooked.

Rows upon rows of the little creatures doing anything from gardening to being just plain creepy. Fun fact: the German word for meerkat is Erdmännchen, which translates literally to "little earth-men." That's way better than meerkat... in my opinion. 

Of course, of all the different types of meerkats available, I'd have to say my favorite was definitely the seduction meerkat. And since it's the season, I'm pretty sure it would make the best Valentine's Day present. 

Ever. 

Alright you got me, I added the lips... but that look in the eyes, that's real.

I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Ok, so maybe there wasn't a hippopotamus, but I did find some pretty unusual things at the Weihnachtsmarkt in Bonn last weekend. 

The award for most disturbing piece of decoration goes to the giant moving, talking moose head on this Glühwein stand. I wish I could tell you what he said, but I think when I realized this life-sized mounted moose head was actually speaking and moving I was sent into such a deep state of shock I repressed any memories more specific than the sheer befuddlement I felt. 

The award for most original Christmas market stand theme goes to Löffel Julius. 

Löffel means spoon in German, and that is exactly what Julius sold in his stand. But not just any old spoons. Löffel Julius sold only the finest wooden spoons of all shapes and sizes. It was the kind of marketing that made you realize you'd been searching for the perfect wooden spoon your whole life, you just never knew it till you gazed upon all Löffel Julius had to offer. Who knew there could be such variety in the wooden spoon business? Löffel Julius, that's who.

And the award for most culturally inappropriate stand goes to the Churros stand. Now granted, my only previous knowledge of Churros is from Taco Bell, but I think that sends a pretty clear message that they're - if nothing else - definitely not German. Ok, so there are plenty of stands at Christmas markets everywhere that sell food and goods that are from other countries and cultures. But those stands usually use the exotic nature of their product as a selling point. Except for a little fine print on the wrapper, there was absolutely nothing identifying this delightful snack as non-German in origin. They would totally have you believe Churros are the your common, everyday German treat. Don't be fooled - they're not! But they were still delicious!

I couldn't make this up if I tried

While out shopping today, I decided to waste a little time perusing the movies/music section. And much to my cultural-difference-spotting delight, I stumbled upon this gem of a musical genre, as seen by German marketing:

oh so many things to say, yet no amount of words seem to do it justice. Instead I will just bask in the totally not racist marketing ploys of my current country of residence. 
This genre, I guess unsurprisingly, is compiled solely of Rap/R&B. And I especially like that a good majority of the CDs (you know, the ones that aren't R. Kelly, Notorious B.I.G., and Eminem) are German artists. I mean really, that's just lolz.
Something like this wouldn't last 2 minutes in the US without a lawsuit, so I just love seeing it as an officially accepted label in a very prominent store here! 

Mullets aren't just for Gator fans

Oh, we all know the type - mullet, jean shorts, gaudy orange and blue apparel. Things you think only a gator fan would have the nerve (complete lack of sense) to wear. And for the most part you'd be right.
Unfortunately, Germany really tips the scale on the mullet count. It's one of those things that was strikingly obvious when I arrived in September, but over the past 7 months, I either have become numb to the mullet or Germany's wised up a little bit...

Now, I can't generalize too much. Not everyone in Germany has a mullet, and I've spoken to many Germans who see and share my concern with this problematic hair-demic.

But today, while out enjoying the increasingly warm spring weather, I noticed this gem of a mullet a few tables away. 

I wish I had more mullet photos to share. I've seen some real art here: kid mullets, old man mullets, she-mullets, slicked back mullets, curly mullets, spiky mullets, subtle mullets, and many many more. However, rarely does the opportunity arise for me to capture photo evidence of such perfection, and it's kind of awkward to just be like "Hey, can I get a picture of your mullet?!" 

As a final thought, I've always wondered how people get mullets. I mean, do they just go to the hair dresser and ask "I'd like a mullet" or maybe more subtly, "I want it a little shorter in the front, you know for business... and longer in the back, like a party!" And that raises the next question what hair dresser would actually do that? I feel like I would feel morally obligated to intervene at that point... 

a question of taste

For the most part I've never questioned Europe's (and yes, sorry, but I'm going to generalize a little bit here) taste in American entertainment. Movies and music tend to follow the same trends (except for the obvious void of hip-hop over here), all my students know Lady GaGa, Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, and they've all seen Avatar, Batman, Inception - although they problem saw them 3 months later, but that's not the point. And, for the most part, the selection of TV shows that have made it big over here aren't that bad either.

It was the Europeans who introduced me to the gem How I Met Your Mother. You can find season upon season of Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, and Friends at any DVD store. But for the life of me, I can NOT understand how in the world Two and a Half Men is such a huge phenomenon here! I'm talking bigger than the last season of LOST. Not a day goes by (pending me actually leaving my apartment) that I don't see or hear something about this show. Until I came to Germany, I had no idea it was even still on. But here it is everywhere, and I have yet to meet a German who does not like this show. Maybe we, as a nation, have misjudged this show. Maybe it deserves a return to primetime tv, a chance to work its way into our hearts... or, you know, maybe not.