Survival of the Poorest

Darwin's lesser known theory on how to survive on the lowest of low budgets. 

The first step to surviving on a budget is to focus your aims. What exactly do you need? 

For me, it's quite simple: food and something to pass the time. 

Great! Next, let's consider the cheapest ways to legally attain these means. 

Food is an easy, albeit not generally very healthy fix. Which makes me wonder, with health being such a big issue these days (or, you know, always), why do they make it so much more expensive to lead a healthy life style? But I digress. A good solution is the college diet - Ramen noodle. 

Of course, you're probably thinking, "Ugh! I thought those days were behind me!" But my poor friend, desperate times call for desperate measures, and sometimes desperate measures mean eating anything just because it's 50 cents a meal (that's right Americans, our lovely 10 cent ramen noodles are a whole 500% more expensive in Europe!). 



As an extra measure, I've also started drinking my tea black. And by started, I mean about 2 cups ago. It's ok.

As for something to pass the time, well that's different for everyone. Generally the internet will suffice for me (I'm an admitted internet junkie), but it also helps to have awesome friends sprinkled throughout the country who will send you entire seasons of some of your favorite shows on DVD. 

I've also gotten pretty good at Freecell. 

Then, of course, it's important to keep hope that your next blog post will be about all the fun things you're doing while living in another country and not just about how depressing your life is without money...

one day, when I have money...

Ah, the beginning of a year as an ETA. For some people it means making new friends and discovering new places, for others, it is the time they get their first chance at teaching. But for everyone, it means an indefinite period of not being paid. 

After last year's fiasco of not getting paid till mid-November, I'm mentally and emotionally prepared to call my parents crying for help live off my last 60€ for the foreseeable future.

But as a means of coping, I've made a list of 3 things I want to treat myself to following the weeks of poorness. And it is definitely helping keeping my mind off my current state of poverty. 

1. New head phones

When my actual iPod headphones got attacked by my bike over the summer, I had to resort to my old friend Amazon to find a cheap replacement. Of course, when you pay 7€ for headphones that normally cost 40€ you can't be too surprised when the quality turns out to be pretty low. Unlike my last headphones, these don't stay in my ears at all, meaning I basically walk around with my fingers in my ears when I use them. And after about 1 week of owning them and pretty light usage, the wire cover broke. Luckily they're still functional with the help of a little tape.

2. New boots.

I love boots. And after many visits to the many shoe shops in Dortmund, I found a pair that I really want!  

3. A new winter jacket

according to the locals, the winter up here in Dortmund is pretty harsh, so I decided I needed to step up my winter wardrobe if I want to survive. I like to think of the winter jacket as a necessity more than a want, but it's on the list because I can't afford it (you know, if I want to eat) until the pay check comes. (I could not find the jacket I've been eyeing online so this is just a picture of one that is really similar) 

Oh, how I can't wait to be paid! 

the 2nd drag show I've ever hosted in a church

The first, of course, being the SAI drag show in the UGA chapel. an event we were all sworn never to speak of again (oops...).

This time around, it was at the PAD orientation.

What's that? You're a second year and you attended orientation? but I thought it explicitly said you could only attend as a first year ETA. 

Yes, you may only participate in the orientation preceding your first year as an ETA, but if you stay on for a second year you have the chance to come back as the seasoned, all-knowing Ehemalige (alum, vet, former ETA, etc.) to impart your wisdom on the fresh young minds that are to be spread across Germany corrupting the youth through the English language. Plus you get free meals, 40€, and a pretty sweet watch.

Yeah, so that's what I did. 

Aside from imparting wisdom and sprinkling the seeds of enthusiasm for teaching, your duties include mainly 2 things: running the bar every night and hosting the last night's activity. From previous experience and collective stories of others the usual picks are either a talent show or a quiz of sorts. But, being the awesome group of Ehemaligen that we were, we wanted to really up the bar and put on something that was both unique and entertaining. 

And thus was born the orientation drag show. And as orientation is hosted entirely at a church, the dichotomy between the setting and the event taking place was hilariously (inappropriately?) predominant from start to finish... 

If you really love me, you'll lock it on the Rhine

At least, that's the going theme on the Deutzer Brücke in Cologne - Ein Schloss am Rhein (a lock on the Rhine)

All along the famous bridge that crosses the Rhine River in the heart of Cologne, you will find locks of all shapes and sizes locked to the fence separating the train tracks from the sidewalk. 

"Finally. After 40 years a lock on the Rhine"

If you take a closer look at these locks, you'll see that the people of Cologne don't just have a collective habit of locking locks on the same fence and losing the key. Most engraved, others just written or decorated, some even bedazzled, each lock is supposed to be a symbol of love. It's the carving your initials in a heart on a tree for the environmentally conscious 21st century. 


Also, the cuteness increases tenfold with a little German lesson. Schloss means lock, but it also means castle. So I like to think of having a Schloss am Rhein, not just as a little memento for the couples, but as an adorable way of getting your own little castle on the Rhine. 

And I have to be honest, I love it! I could easily spend an hour just walking across the bridge reading the locks. Most of them just have initials or names, some have nothing, others have poems or sayings. Each one unique. So instead of going on about how awesome this bridge of locks is, I thought I'd post pics of some of my favorites. 

"Will you marry me?" 

"forever"

home sweet home!

so, I could tell you were all really concerned that I hadn't been posting a lot lately! Life has been unusually busy lately, especially as the indefinite guest at someone's house as I was for the past 3 weeks. No more locking yourself in your room and being anti-social - which is usually my blogging time! But as of yesterday I have officially moved into my new place! And as of this morning my room no longer looked like this:

There are still a couple finishing touches I want to add to my room (like a coat rack for all my coats that are currently piled up on top of my wardrobe, or an actual bed for my mattress) but they'll have to wait till after I have money again! Until then, this is the finished product of my new room! 

view from the door looking in

View from the window 

view from the bed

just one of those days.

How today was supposed to go:

8:30 am: Take train from Hennen, Iserlohn to Dortmund Hbf

1. stop by bank and withdraw large sum of money from US account for University enrollment and apartment deposit/first month's rent
2. get on train to university
3. go to international Sekretariat, sign up, pay money, get train ticket
4. go to school for 3 lessons
5. go hang out in the city for an hour before
6. meeting at apartment to discuss move in times, money, etc.
7. Get the train home. 

How today really went (complete with a number-guided map!)

8:30 am: Take train from Hennen, Iserlohn to Dortmund Hbf

1. arrive at Dortmund, realize it's raining and I have no umbrella
2. walk to bank, get denied money I'm supposed to be withdrawing 
3. Run to Starbucks to steal free wifi and call Suntrust internationally only to reach an automated message telling me to call back again after 6am EST (4pm in Germany). Also forced to buy a muffin as I'm the only one in the entire building that is not on staff.
4. Run back by bank and successfully withdraw half the amount originally intended.
5. Go back to train station to catch train that is 5 minutes delayed. Then 10 minutes delayed. The 15 minutes delayed - oh just kidding, it's canceled! take the next train in an extra 5 min. No wait, that train is delayed 10 too. finally leave after 35 min waiting at train station
6. arrive at University, have no idea where I'm supposed to be going
7. find the building. Wait for 3 hours with no line, no actual order, no promise of results. Finally get to talk to someone, get told I need a waiver for German health insurance. Even thought I have German health insurance already. 
8. Get the waiver
9. go back to building, finish enrolling and leave with everything I need.
10. walk back to s-bahn station, miss train by 1 min, have to wait for 19 min till next one comes
11. get back to Dortmund Hbf, 2 hours later than originally planned, already missed first 2 classes
12. ride the 30 minute U-bahn out to my school only to find that no one shows up for the class. 
13. Go back to Starbucks to try to call bank again. Proceed to both yell and cry in public on phone to bank for not letting me raise my daily withdraw limit so I can get the money I need to pay for my apartment in less than an hour. Get Pam involved. She makes it happen
14. go back to bank and finally withdraw the rest of the money I need.
15. Go to apartment, pay my rent/deposit, plus buy the bed, wardrobe, and desk for an additional 50€ (success!)
16. Go back to Dortmund Hbf
17. Arrive back in Hennen 11 hours after leaving.

I achieved everything I set out to do, it just was a lot more complicated than originally intended. Now I'm exhausted. And my legs hurt.

what do bee stings and cakes have in common?

When combined, they are delicious! 

This is one of, if not my favorite German desert. Available at pretty much any bakery, it is called Bienenstich. Bienenstich literally means bee sting. So according to Wikipedia, in English you would translate the dessert Bienenstich as bee sting cake (to avoid any unfortunate, cross-cultural misunderstandings).

It consists of two layers of white cake with a layer of sort of vanilla cream in the middle and topped off with glazed almonds. Basically the most perfect combination of sweet ingredients I've ever had the pleasure of tasting.

So, if you're ever in Germany and someone offers you a bee sting, don't run away screaming....

Unless they're carrying a beehive. In which case, why are you even talking to them to begin with?